So I came across an article this morning and thought you all would enjoy it. It's an article/slide show by Jennifer Wright from www.thegloss.com. It's pretty funny - check it out!!
What Your Nail Shape Says About You!
When your manicurist asks you “square or round?” she’s really asking you “what kind of person are you? DECIDE NOW.” So here is an illustrated guide to assist you. I have made it helpfully specific/accurate.
You are a classic lady of the old school. Your taste in books, movies and art is – at least outwardly – inoffensive. You love Audrey Hepburn movies, and you like to imagine what your life would look like in black and white, with a soundtrack. Sometimes, in your dreams, there are musical numbers. Big splashy ones, like something out of a 1930’s movie. Fred Astaire stars. Your husband is sexually unthreatening. One time in college you dated a man with a foreign name and it was… interesting. Your favorite drink is champagne, but you feel it’s showy to order it, so you order Reisling. When you die, you will wish that you’d ordered more champagne, but if you had it to do over, you’d do it no differently. Your childhood pet had an incredibly generic name. You gossip. You wear pearls. You have been known to embrace your victimhood.
Square Tip Nails
You have some manner of regional dialect. You want a BIG wedding ring. You veer towards ostentation. You would allow your ten year old daughter to wear sweatpants with the word “cantalope” emblazoned across the back. There’s Juicy Couture somewhere in your closet. Your favorite drink a long island iced tea, and in college, you were in a sorority. You miss college. You tan and lie about your age. Your hair is so shiny. How do you keep it so shiny? Do you go to the salon all the time? And yet, you are cost conscious enough to know that this type of manicure lasts slightly longer than round tip.
You shape your nails this way as if to say “I would cut a bitch” but what you mean is “I’m so afraid of the world and my place in it. Hold me. I just want to be held. Just for a little while.” You brush against strangers in the subway for the quick frisson that comes from human contact. You do a wonderful Alexis Carrington impression you call “life.” You are fascinated by Japanese culture. You enjoy Sofia Coppola movies. When you don’t hear from someone in a while you think “Oh, shit, they found out.” Your favorite drink is a mint-chocolate chip milkshake, the kind you used to love when you were 6 years old. You are not as alone as you think you are, my little porcupine.
Almond Shaped Nails (Somewhere Between Square and Round)
You’re just a girl in the world. And it’s so hard sometimes, wanting so much, so damn much. When will you get to throw your beret in the air? When? Your favorite drink is coffee, and you want to be like that, rich and deep and purposeful. You are unfulfilled. Your are either in love with your boss or hate him/her. You jump up and down on beds. You pretend to like ramen. One day, someone will notice your beauty which is not a stab-you-in-the-eye-with-a-spork beauty, but a twinkling Christmas tree light sort of beauty that reminds them of driving alone on an abandoned road in a Miata at sunrise, the morning after it rained. This person will love you. You are still in the act of becoming, and on some level you realize that this IS the good part. But you wait. You are hopeful. Your tableau is vivant. Everything beckons.
Some nights you wake up with the horrible awareness that you are going to die. You are shocked that other people don’t seem to notice this. You are fascinated by the apocalypse. You find relaxation stressful. You would hate it if Heaven were a garden. You hope Heaven is a city, growing up big and crooked, with hundreds of libraries and vespas running in every direction. You don’t hate Disney movies. You still miss your childhood pet. You love routines that give you a sense of permanence and place in the world. You fantasize about chucking it all, and moving to Morocco. You would never do this. Your favorite drink is mulled wine. You aren’t insane. All your fears are justified.
You can’t fool me! You’re a dinosaur in disguise! Your favorite drink is whatever dinosaurs drink.